Can I Marry Again as a Christian If I’ve Been Divorced More Than Once?
As in all things, this isn’t as simple as giving a straight yes or no answer, and I think before we start, it would be worth putting some background detail on the table. It’s going to make threading this needle a lot easier – believe me!
Christians Live Under a Covenant – The World Doesn’t
This is critical. At Gate Family Church, we believe that when someone gives their life to Christ, they enter a covenant with Him. And covenants are, in plain English, legal agreements. They come with responsibilities, commitments, and limitations. This includes how Christians treat marriage, divorce, and in some cases remarry. Under the covenant, these things aren’t casual – they’re contractual. They form part of the “deal” with Jesus.
Even more significantly, people who aren’t in that covenant aren’t bound by it or its rules. They live by the ways of the world and, although this often leads to immorality, Scripture doesn’t call them covenant-breakers because they never entered Christ’s covenant to begin with, and it’s not for us to judge them. So for a non-Christian, God isn’t prescribing who or how many people you choose to marry/divorce or co-habit with, you’ve chosen your own path.
I fully appreciate that this may feel unfair from a Christian perspective, but if we want to inherit the promises of Christ including eternal life, restoration, and a place in His Kingdom then this comes with that territory.
Different covenant, different expectations, different outcome.
Time to answer the question!
Across the Gospels, Jesus is very firm about divorce and remarriage. But in Matthew’s account, He seems to include one clear exception:
“Whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9
This means that if your spouse is unfaithful to you, the covenant has been broken, and you are free to remarry within the terms of your covenant with Christ.
Paul adds another scenario: abandonment by a non-Christian spouse.
“If the unbeliever departs, let them depart. The brother or sister is not bound in such cases.” 1 Corinthians 7:15
So again, provided your partner was an unbeliever, if they walk away from the marriage, you are free to remarry.
and finally there is one other situation, not so much relating to remarrying, but rather not taking another partner at all.
“A wife must not separate from her husband. But if she does, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:10–11
This scripture read literally appears to only apply to women, but most Christians take it to include both partners, it seems more logical but it is open to interpretation.
The idea here, seems to be that separation should be avoided unless absolutely necessary, but if you do separate AND it’s not due to abandonment or a cheating partner, then you either reconcile with your spouse or remain single.
It seems hard, for sure, but just remember this only applies to Christians who are in the covenant with Christ, not to the world in general.
So What About Multiple Divorces?
This is the part most people jump to, but it’s actually the wrong starting question. The New Testament never says:
‘one divorce is acceptable’ nor that you can only have x number of spouses (that may be a moral question, but it’s not one the biblical text directly addresses).
The question is simply: Why/how did the marriage end?
And provided your spouse cheated on you (and you have been faithful!), or they were not a believer and deserted you, re-marriage should not be an issue. Outside of these carve-outs, the covenant is not going to give any divorcee an easy ride, but with that choice to follow him comes both responsibility and the promise of eternal life.
